Mental Health II
Navigating Mental Health: A Personal Journey of Overcoming Performance Anxiety and Depression
By Max Altidor, Contributing Writer
Mental health is an integral aspect of our overall well-being, impacting how we think, feel, and act. It determines how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. The complexities of mental health can often be elucidated through personal experiences, providing a profound understanding of its impact and the resilience required to navigate its challenges. In my journey as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) and an Assistant Department Director, I have encountered various facets of mental health, including performance anxiety, depression, and the struggle to maintain functionality amid depleted energy.
From an early age, I have grappled with performance anxiety. This anxiety stemmed from a deep-seated desire to outperform my past self, driven by an incessant need to prove my worth to myself. Each milestone achieved became a fleeting moment of satisfaction, quickly overshadowed by the looming pressure of the next goal. The anxiety was not merely about failing others but about falling short of the high standards I set for myself. It created an internal battlefield where self-doubt and fear of inadequacy were constant adversaries.
During these times, my professional role required me to project confidence and competence, creating a dichotomy between my internal state and external persona. This discrepancy often led to moments of intense anxiety, where the fear of being perceived as incompetent loomed large. However, this anxiety also became a catalyst for growth. Through therapy, mindfulness practices, and self-reflection, I learned to manage these feelings, transforming them from paralyzing fears into motivating forces.
Amid the battle with performance anxiety, I have also faced bouts of depression. These episodes were marked by pervasive feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a sense of emptiness. The weight of these emotions often led to moments of depleted energy, where even the simplest tasks felt insurmountable. As a mental health professional, the irony of my own struggles was not lost on me. The very advice and support I offered to others felt distant and at times unattainable in my own life.
Functioning during these depressive episodes required immense effort and resilience. Each day became an exercise in endurance, pushing through the fog of depression to fulfill my responsibilities. There were days when my professional obligations seemed like insurmountable mountains, yet the commitment to my role and the people I served became a beacon of purpose. Through these experiences, I gained a deeper empathy for those I counsel, understanding firsthand the relentless nature of depression and the courage it takes to keep moving forward.
In reflecting on my journey, I recognize the importance of seeking support and the power of resilience. Therapy, a strong support network, and self-care practices have been instrumental in navigating these challenges. My experiences have reinforced the notion that mental health is a continuum, with ebbs and flows that require ongoing attention and care. They have also underscored the value of authenticity and vulnerability in fostering genuine connections and understanding.
As I continue my work, these experiences inform my approach to leadership and counseling. They remind me of the strength inherent in vulnerability and the importance of creating spaces where others feel safe to share their struggles. Mental health is not a destination but a journey, one that we navigate with resilience, compassion, and the unwavering belief in our capacity to overcome.
In sharing my story, I hope to shed light on the complexities of mental health and the importance of addressing it with the same care and commitment we afford to our physical health. It is through understanding, support, and resilience that we can navigate the challenges of mental health, emerging stronger and more empathetic in our personal and professional lives.